Later that day, I decided that it was time to fire up the grill and have a good ‘ol summer barbecue with the family.  Especially after spending a good portion of our summer so far cooped up in the house under quarantine so as not to infect the world with whooping cough.  So as I normally do, I made the call to the kindling brigade, my kids, who sprang into action gathering up twigs, sticks, pine needles and the like to help get the fire started.  Only this time the task seemed to have been completed much quicker than normal.

I went outside to find next to the barbecue a large pile of fine twigged branches.  On asking where they found these and my oldest son said from the dead birch tree.  He had taken a large stick and trashed some of the lower branches of one of the White Birch trees in our backyard.  I showed my displeasure with that and reminded him of the lecture that we had just attended.  He looked at me and said, “Well, this tree is dead, it has already given us all the blessings it can from its oxygen and shade, and so this is its last blessing, its wood, which will help nourish us by cooking our food on the flames it will produce.”  His statement floored me.

We used to have three of these beautiful trees in our yard.  Two winters ago, during a very strong storm, one was toppled over, leaving its two companions to live on.  Then some time last year the second tree lost its leaves and never grew new ones.  It still stands although just as a skeleton of its former self.

Upon hearing my son’s comment, I really started to ponder about the benefits we get from these delicate and lovely trees.  So I pulled out the camera, as I have done numerous times before trying to capture the essence of these stark white trunks against the dark green leaves in summer or vibrant yellows in autumn and started to photograph them again.  Only this time there was a deep connection with them.  They were more than just trees.  They were companions, helpers in my journey to my own end.

What started out as an intention for a couple of snapshots turned into something much more profound for me. I moved from photographing the detail of the leaves and trunk to how these trees bask in the sun, taking in the glorious light and making their own food from it. What brought this lovely tree to its demise will be a mystery forever I suppose and the question that begets me is will the last standing tree suffer the same fate as its sisters?

Standing as a mere skeleton now, the dead birch has but a few branches left, luckily out of the reach of my over ambitious son in search of kindling. But nonetheless, its branches and twigs are much appreciated as they did most certainly kindle the fire that cooked our meal that evening. As I snapped the dried branches and piled them into the barbecue, I never once realized the blessing we have in the left over wood from dead trees. It just never seemed to register. We don’t see that wood as a tree anymore, but it was a tree.

Simple twigs and sticks, not much at all to look at or to even ponder about, but it is from those simple little things that great results emerge.  A small spark, a flame, and the next thing you know you have a roaring blaze that brings warmth and the energy to cook our own food.  For tens of years, that tree stood absorbing the energy from the sun, making its own sugar as food through photosynthesis allowing itself to grow.  Each year adding more girth to its trunk and branches, producing shade giving leaves and then shedding them to the ground where they became the mulch and soil that the tree itself needed to remain firm and steadfast in the ground.  A cycle that continued until The Sustainer decided that it was time for this tree to stop, and the cycle was broken.  However the benefits continue.  For now, locked in its wood, the accumulated years of energy lies dormant waiting for that small spark to ignite the wood and release it for one more final blessing.

The coals that evening were particularly mild.  Hot enough to cook on, but with no scorching and very few flares that tend to char the food.  The coals themselves originating from hardwood trees themselves also finally gave their last blessing as well.  The entire evening was riddled with final blessings right and left.  For not only did these trees give us what they could in cooking our food, so too did the chickens whose meat we were about to cook, and the grains of Bulghur wheat, tomatoes and onions that were stewing on the stove, all giving us their last blessing as well.

I think we fail to realize that we are the end users of everything on this planet, from the air we breath, to the water we drink to the food we consume, to all the other natural resources that we use for our survival, comfort and gain.  How should we feel as the benefactors of all these blessings?  Do we feel gratitude?  Do we feel a sense of shame in front of The Bestower who gives us these blessings and we do nothing in return, not even giving thanks?  Do we feel any responsibility at all in returning the good we have received by doing good to others and to our world?  I shudder when I think of all the blessings I have in my life, for my benefit, for my comfort and gain, and I go heedless in life not realizing that all I do is take and give nothing in return.

The meal that night was fantastic.  We all ate to our fill and to our satisfaction, and in some part wishing that we still had more for later.  The benefit from that meal has already passed through our bodies, but what we learned from it, what we can give back because of it can go on for a very long time.  I am going to be more cognizant of the blessings I have and will make more of an effort to give back to the world at least some portion of the good that I have taken from it.  I invite all of you to do the same, so that in times to come, others might say of us what we can say now of the blessings we have.

Peace.

©2010 Organic Light Pan. All Rights Reserved.

This evening we went out to sight the new moon for the Islamic month of Sha’baan. It is the 8th month in the Islamic year and it is a crucial moon to see as it helps mark the beginning of Ramadan, the 9th month and the month of fasting. I saw it first among my family this evening as the kids were playing around. When I called out ‘There it is!’ of course they all ran to me and started probing me so they could see it. One after another, like dominoes, the lovely sound of “Ahhh, I see it I see it!” All but one. My youngest daughter, only 4 years old, and so determined to see the moon cries out – “I can’t See it!” “Where is it?!” After about 2o minutes of pointing to it, and helping her find landmarks where she could cast off into the sky to see it, we still were no better off.

I told her to relax, it will get brighter and you will see it. As we sat there, she suddenly asked, “what’s that black thing up there?” She had noticed a jet liner coming into the Bay Area to probably land at the San Francisco International airport. It was flying directly at the moon. I told her to, “keep watching the plane, and it will fly right next to the moon and when I tell you, look real hard.” Suddenly I say – “Now!” “I see it, I see it!” she yells out in glee.

It is the strangest thing, seeing the new moon. It brings great joy to my heart, and to everyone who has ever come out with me and saw it. One moment you are looking at blank sky and then the next, there it is, as plain as day itself. Its as if it suddenly comes into existence from nowhere, its born into the world – somehow almost miraculously.

Next month, for the month of Ramadan, we are expecting the moon to be seen on the evening of August 11th. Go out an experience a miracle. Your heart will thank you for it.

Peace.

©2010 Organic Light Pan. All Rights Reserved.

So I return home and check my email. I received an email that for the most part would be considered spam, but I opened it anyway and was quite surprised. I had just reminded myself not to complain, and to just be thankful for what I have and that I am still alive. Below is the text that was included in the email.

So easy to forget to be thankful for everything……
There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, ‘If I could only see the world, I will marry you.’

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

He asked her,’Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?’ The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn’t expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her
saying: ‘Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.’

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life Is a Gift.

Today, before you say an unkind word – Think of someone who can’t speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food – Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife – Think of someone who’s crying out to GOD for a companion.

Today, before you complain about life – Think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job – Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down – Put a smile on your face and think: you’re alive and still around.

Just wanted to share that.

Peace.

©2010 Organic Light Pan. All Rights Reserved.

Electric Dreams

I made three photographs from this one plant, but this one just had something about it that screamed spring to me and it had me and my camera contorted in the most unusual position in order to get this composition.  My neck still hurts when I think about it.  As the spring wildflower season began to unfold, I remembered making this photo and pulled it out of my files and developed it for print in the hopes that this year would be a good year for wildflowers – it has been.

So before the last blossom withers away, get out there and breath in the spicy aroma of the WILD flowers and let it spice up your life a little bit this spring.

Peace.

©2010 Organic Light Pan. All Rights Reserved.

Brushes Of Light

But how we see the world and what is really there are two very different things.  It is difficult enough to understand this for a stationary object let alone for one that is constantly moving, like water flowing in a stream.  By the time you see the moving object it has already moved to a new point in space.  Luckily, light moves so fast, 186,000 miles/second, that the distance that something can move in the time that its light reaches our eyes is for all practical purposes so miniscule that we can say we see it in its actual position in space.  Further, its motion is so fluid that we see it as continuous. 

Throw a camera into the mix, which is an intermediary between the photographer who experiences the object and the viewer who only sees the photograph, and it creates a departure from reality.  Due to its technical nature, the camera can either freeze a moment in time or produce the illusion of motion as the object streaks passed its fixed lens.  Then in the hands of the photographer, the photograph itself can be manipulated in such a way as to remove any reference to reality bringing about an abstraction that only hints at the natural presence of light itself.

In the hands of the photographer, the one who writes with light, art is created through a simple tool of capture – the camera. Handled deftly, and the camera moves beyond mere capture, and becomes the translator of the intent of not just the photographer but of the artist within as well.

©2010 Organic Light Pan. All Rights Reserved.

All to often life takes hold of us and runs us so ragged that we forget to appreciate our blessings.  From our health to our homes to our friends each is such a blessing that words fail to adequately describe.  I don’t know if we ever really understand or appreciate the significance of these blessings.  I do know that I am guilty of forgetting and when confronted with the loss of a blessing, only then do I realize what a blessing it was.

The great spiritual Guide of the 13th century Ibn ‘Ata Illah in his famous Aphorisms said “Whoever is not grateful for blessings is asking for them to vanish.  Whoever is grateful for them ties them up with their own tether.”  2009 was a hard year for most of us.  We have seen much good fortune vanish.  Businesses have disappeared, jobs lost, homes foreclosed on, people left homeless and in some cases worse.  I need not remind  anyone of all that as we are still in the midst of the fallout, and we probably would all like to forget all that and move on to better times.

The consensus among all those who have written commentaries on the Aphorisms of Ibn ‘Ata illah is that we show ingratitude for our blessings when we misuse them.  Blessings are a gift from the Divine for us to use to bring us closer to the Divine, to recognize the Divine, to give thanks to the Divine and to show appreciation for what we have.  I think we could all understand how we would feel if we graciously gave someone a gift who then scoffed at, ridiculed and disregarded that gift.  We would be hurt, regretful for giving it and possibly wish that we could take it back.  It is chilling to think that being heedless of the good things in our lives would result in those very things being snatched away from us, but it does happen.

To tether our blessings we must appreciate them.  We must use them properly and care for them.  I am sure, like me, we all have more blessings than we can enumerate or even realize.  Nevertheless I want to reflect on two.

Photography is something that fell into my life that I never intended on.  It was truly a gift as it has helped me realize how beautiful a world we live in, which is an amazing blessing in its own right.  Every photo I make has significance to me and hopefully to others as well.  One photograph that I made in the spring of 2003, ‘After The Rain’, has risen head and shoulders above all the rest.

Photographed on the foundation of respecting another’s property while most were violating it, After The Rain, reached the 250th print sold late last month!  Most photographers that I run into on the art show circuit that offer limited edition photography limit their editions at 250, at such high number it is assumed the edition will really never be discontinued.   Reaching this number is a hallmark for me, a mark I never thought would occur but very grateful it was met and hopefully it will continue to meet new marks.

The caption that accompanies this photo eludes to showing gratitude for the rain – “As gentle rain falls from the sky it moistens the hard sun baked hills and the Earth drinks to its fill. Seeds, from a generation of grasses and flowers long gone, drink as well. And with that drink they start to come to life by the Mercy of the Merciful. In their gratitude for the Mercy of life they come out in blazing colors glorifying the One who sent them the Rain and the One who gave them Life. The Mercy of God, the Creator, follows the rain, as the Rain is God€™s Mercy. For without it, all life would cease. Be grateful for the rain, the flowers are.”

However, our gratitude needs to encompass much more than the rain and we need to appreciate every moment we have, the sweet ones as well as the bitter ones, for without the bitter moments, the sweet ones would not be as sweet.  At that level, we would find all of our blessings well tethered.

The second blessing that I want to reflect on is the patron.  As an artist in business the patron is absolutely crucial.  In fact whether the business is art or the manufacturing of microwave energy wave guides for communication satellites, the end customer who seeks your product is king and needs to treated as such.  Even if you are an employee you still have a manager that comes to you for your contribution to the end product, a manager who must be pleased with your contribution, and then takes it and promotes it to the next level.  Displease your pseudo-customer and you could find yourself …well let’s not go there.

I have always known that customer service and satisfaction is key in business and I have always done my best to treat my patrons well.  And even though I was always grateful for a sale, a registration for instruction or any request for any of my many photographic services, I don’t think I was ever truly appreciative of their patronage until this past year.  Patrons were definitely far and few in between in the economic desert of 2009.  Much like the desert wildflower bloom of 2006, one of the meekest on record, as depicted in the photo ‘Desert Fare’ above, patrons were still there.  That spring did not dazzle photographers nor the viewers of the photos captured, but we photographed it anyway.  And like that, I still provided my services to those that still appeared from the barren economic wasteland we find ourselves in.  However, now each patron was the most important patron I ever had, for without them my ability to exist as a photographer would be put in jeopardy.

So I think that is all I have to say right now.  I know I lost some pretty heavy-duty blessings this past year and so I will definitely be tethering what I have left, you included – you are appreciated more than you know.  And hey if you think Organic Light is anything of a blessing in your life…well, I’ll let you put 2 and 2 together about how to tether it.

Peace to you all, and a better 2010!

©2010 Organic Light Pan. All Rights Reserved.

Homemade Pumpkin Pie

Then I made a middle eastern rice stuffing that I grew up eating and stuffed a 15 lb turkey with it, and put it in the oven to roast.  I needed some whipping cream for the pies later tonight and headed over to my local Whole Foods market to buy a pint only to find they were completely sold out!  I then made a 10 mile trek to the next nearest Whole Foods to get my pint of organic cream.  Along the way I started to think.

This year the holiday season here in the United States begins with Thanksgiving as the holiday season for the Muslim world comes to its end with Eid al-Adha, or the Festival of Sacrifice, on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.  For me It will be five days of holiday starting with Thanksgiving and culminating with Eid.  And yet when thinking about these two holidays they seem so diametrically opposed, not in spirit but in practice.  In spirit Thanksgiving is about showing thanks for the blessings and bounty that we have.  I am sure originally thanks was given to God, but today I don’t know who exactly people thank.  Folks today in the U.S. believe in so many different things or in nothing at all that I have given up on trying to understand who thanks what anymore.  Growing up, Thanksgiving was always a strange holiday.  People cooked more food than they could possibly eat, then ate more then is healthy.  Someone, either a guest or neighbor, always consumed to much alcohol, became intoxicated and then spoiled the day with some boisterous diatribe about how the world was all wrong and he never got a fair shake.  The very act of giving thanks on that day seemed so contrived and disingenuous.  All the while there was the guy on the street corner, like today as I left Whole Foods, with a sign in his hand that read “hungry”. 

At the same time this year, 2 million humans converged on Mecca in the Arabian Peninsula, for the annual Islamic Pilgrimage. 

Mecca at Hajj

From all over the world and from every walk of life these people make a sacrifice to get there, and in some cases their entire life savings, and seek out forgiveness for the wrongs they committed in their life so far.  They sacrifice their time, leaving family behind in some cases, and make a trek into and through the desert for a glimmering hope of starting life a new without any mistakes to account for.  After 9 days of slogging through the desert these 2 million people make one more sacrifice.  They purchase an animal; lamb, goat, cow or camel, they have it slaughtered and the meat is given away to those hungry people in the world, wherever they might be.  The meat is processed there in Mecca, flash frozen and then distributed worldwide to those who need food.  After all the Eid that follows the pilgrimage is called the Festival of Sacrifice.  But all is not roses there during the Hajj.  There is wasted food, more waste than I think I have ever seen in my life when I made my Hajj 11 years ago.  Leftover food, half eaten loaves of bread, plastic bags filled with uneaten cooked rice and curry litter the pathways.  For a spectacle like no other where sacrifice and giving are the hallmark, it is utterly embarrasing and repugnant to see so much food discarded.  All the while beggars are every where asking for help.

Growing up in my home these two holidays were about feeding other people rather than feeding ourselves.  Each year my aunt calls me about a week or so before Eid and asks are you going to hold Eid this year?  What she means is – are you going to feed people?  This year she also asked if I and my family were going to spend Thanksgiving with her.  Like my dear departed mother, she has a obsession of generosity that is only placated by feeding people. 

It is said that it is always better to give than to receive.  Thankfulness for something given is expected.  Being thankful for the ability to give is another matter all together.  The Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, said ‘charity does not diminish wealth’.  What ever one gives out will return ten fold.  The ability to give to and sacrifice for others is deserving of thanks.  It is a state of well being that marks independence and fortune.  It pains me when those that have the ability to give hoard what they have for themselves and leave others to pine for what should be enjoyed by all.

This year my wife and I have the good fortune of hosting our extended family at our home for Thanksgiving.  It was a sacrifice for us as well as times are tough and we have had to tighten our belts a bit.  But the joy we feel in giving out, and receiving the blessings of family in our home is more than we could ever ask for.  This year, think about thanks and what you are thankful for and who you are thankful to for what you have and for what you have the ability to do.

Peace.

©2010 Organic Light Pan. All Rights Reserved.

Dhul-Hjjah Begins

Good luck to all those making the Pilgrimage, may your scarifice be accepted and may you find what you seek.

©2010 Organic Light Pan. All Rights Reserved.

Broken

In either case, something feels broken.  You can see where you want to be. You can see your goal ahead of you but you just can’t seem to reach it.  Its like standing on a path broken by a fissure that is too wide to cross on foot.

I have been feeling this way lately.  I know my goal, but I just can’t seem to achieve it.  At times I feel incapacity while at other times sloth.    My fissure is not totally impassable, it just requires additional effort and maybe some ‘out-of-the-box’ thinking to find a way across.

A few weeks ago I found myself immersed in light and form for about forty minutes where many of the feelings I had trouble expressing suddenly appeared to me among small pebbles and sandstone.  ‘Broken’ was the first and it has helped me pass over the fissure in my way.  I will share several more photographs from that evening in the days to come.

I would be interested in hearing if you ever found the answer in the sublimity of nature to a problem that puzzled you or hindered your progress.

©2010 Organic Light Pan. All Rights Reserved.

Oak Net

I spent the next 6 years working towards a bachelors degree in engineering. I quickly became obsessed with earning high marks in all my classes. Something that was new to me, as I was never driven academically in high school. I devoted those six years to my studies, from dawn to late into the night, sometimes putting in 20 hour-days for weeks on end. All my work was elegant, solutions to problems meticulously carried out step-by-step, with every problem in the texts solved. I went above and beyond what my professors asked for. I did not need to do this, but I was driven to produce only the best work. At times I hated that I worked so hard, but I could not bring myself to do anything less. In the end it was all worth it, graduating Summa Com Laude with a 3.94 GPA.  I was proud of what I had accomplished and it gave me the ranking that earned me the opportunity to attend Stanford University where I was given a research assistantship that paid for me to study there for another 6 years where I earned Doctoral degree in Mechanical Engineering.  However, when I finally finished my studies and decided to enter into the corporate world, I quickly discovered that quality work was not as prized as it was in academia.  Cost was the driving factor and unreasonable deadlines usually drove the outcome.  That was a hard pill for me to swallow.

During those six years at Stanford I picked up photography as a hobby and then it too became an obsession and finally as my livelihood.  At first I was concerned with learning how to master exposure, which by the way only took about 8 years.  Then later working hard to master composition and further than that how to produce a photograph that would move some one’s heart the way mine was moved at the time I experienced that moment depicted in the photo I made.  I still struggle with that.  It has been a long and arduous journey learning how to do this.  Along the way I met with many brick walls that almost forced me to stop.  At times when I felt my work was not up to par, that it could not compete with the work of other photographers that I admired it was not hard to convince myself to just give up.  However something inside kept pushing me.  In school it was a level playing field, my work was compared to my peers and we were all learning.  But with my photography, I compared my work against that of the masters and it was falling short in a very serious way. 

Incense Cedar and Lichens

Now after 20 years of work, I no longer compare my work to the work of others, at least not in a superficial way.  I rank it by my own expectations and by the responses I receive by my patrons and admirers of my work.  If I find that a certain photograph can elicit a response from a viewer in such a manner as to indicate that their heart was moved how my was, then I know that I have been successful.  And if it further moves a person to actually purchase it for themselves, then I know I have achieved excellence in my work.

It has been a long and hard process getting to this point.  One that I would never want to trade in or change.  Five years ago I decided that I had enough experience under my belt, so to speak, that I could offer what I know to others through instruction.  I have had many students since that time.  One of the over-arching complaints my students have had when asked why they are seeking photographic instruction is that they can’t seem to make photos that represent what they “saw” at the time they made their photo.  I have found over the years that the majority of the time, the answer lied in technical proficiency, and in specific proficiency in making the “correct” photographic exposure.

Dogwood Carpet

One class will not bring the proficiency of making a photograph that captures what was seen at the moment it was made, and anyone promising that is lying to you.  What instruction will bring is a savings in time and effort by having someone tell you what mistakes to avoid based on years of experience.  This points the student in the right direction on the journey to making the photographs they want to make.  It will still take practice, lots of practice, and many mistakes will still be made but with an instructor concerned with the success of the student in mind, every mistake becomes a means for learning what to avoid without having to suffer the frustration of not knowing why that photo did not work out.

My instruction is step wise.  I first focus on the technical aspects of camera operation and how to expose a scene the way the student wants it to appear.  I emphasize the basics, the foundations of good photography, by learning how to control the camera manually rather than letting the camera control the student.  I instruct the student to see the camera as a tool in their image making and not as a constraint.  Once I feel the student has a good grasp of the technical, I then move on to the esoteric aspects of image making – the how and why of making a photograph speak for you.  It takes time, but I have seen great things come from the students  I have taught, and in turn they have seen their improve as well.

If learning how to make expressive photograph interests you, then consider one of my clinics, workshops or photo tours.  And if you find that my approach or offerings don’t interest you let me know and I can suggest several fine classes from other photographers that I admire.  Helping you improve in your work brings me great satisfaction, and it raises the bar of excellence a bit higher every time I can help someone improve.

For a listing of the clinics and workshops offered visit the Organic Light Photography Workshop Page, or Contact me for more information.

©2010 Organic Light Pan. All Rights Reserved.